Current mood:

depressed

Down the drain
My Horoscope: You're willing to move on and eager to make up for lost time, but is the other person in this equation feeling as magnanimous? If not, don't be too quick to pick up their slack. It takes two to tango, you know.

So this is the epitome of the end of Ray and I's relationship (or whatever it was). Apparently, I was eager or just super exticed that things were falling into place for me. I finally found someone that I was clicking with. Someone that, even though certain things about him bugged me, I was more than willing to look past them because that's how much I was beginning to care about him. I guess I was just excited because I found a true sense of happiness and that the fake happiness I portray otherwise. So that "other person" was not feeling the same way. Shitty for me since I'm the one that always gets screwed over. Literally, I must have "I'm a stupid bitch, please toy with my emotions" written across my forehead. I wanted a relationship, I wasn't good enough for him to want a relationship with me, thus we no longer have anything at the moment. It doesn't work if you both don't want the same thing. He thinks I'm such a great friend, I say "fuck that." I'm so tired of being that "great girl" that is an awesome presence in everyone's life, that is a positive influence and is always there in times of need. What the fuck happens when I'm in need of that awesome guy to be there for me, to carry me along in life when I can't cut it on my own? Oh yea, I will never have one of those because I always get involved in one-sided relationships where I give it all and get left with nothing. I say the payoff better be a million times better than what I've experienced thus far in life because I've gotten shit on so far....and I mean this in the most sincere, non-conceited, hopeful way possible.